The holidays always bring about a lot of feelings for everyone, not just me...Warm Fuzzy Hot Chocolate Memories..and The Aching Want of Days/People Gone By.
This year I have a lot to be thankful for. My family, Benjamin, new business, old and new friends. A new adventure that shows quips, turns, and elbow grease-- but the rewards are so plentiful. Whether its a smile that melts my heart--or a new word-- or a random person praising our hard work. Every action has a reaction, and every emotional investment has its returns...
In such happy times, filled with food and family -- I cant help but to miss those that are gone.. My daddy-- this is our 9th Christmas without him. Our 9th year! He was so special, such a great great man, dad, POP-- and even though the holidays without him have become the norm-- all the changes that happened bc he is no longer here have become the norm and expected too.. Like the OLD TIMES-- the WHOLE family was there. We all ate, took pictures, ate, kids played-- the fellas rough housed in the front yard-- and the ladies cleaned the kitchen. Its sad now that its a mad rush to get there- everyone scarves down their plate- makes a plate for whomever didnt show- rush through the presents- and leave before the wrapping paper is even off the floor. There are the few who hang out- chat- catch up etc... but when my daddy was here- everyone stayed for a while. It was a "family day". I miss wrapping his undershirts and hershey kisses and chocolate syrup in a can (those were a staple under the tree) he was happy for the little things. I truly think he enjoyed the company more than the chocolate. And I miss that simplistic light on such a hectic day. I miss him tons!!
I have a lot of Christmas spirit.. I established my own little family(before Benne) of my former home, with my former life-- I was Holly Homemaker during the holidays.. and I loved it! I used to start baking Nov 1st- trying new recipes and always having my "taste tester" available and ready for sweets.. Thanksgiving had been held at my house for the past 5 years-- but I dont live there anymore. I dont have my own tree, nor my decorations to hang, nor my kitchen to bake... This year is so foreign to me. Its like that first Christmas after losing my dad-- Just breezed by. Alot of hurt, and alot of mixed emotions...and i have no concept of time. Thanksgiving is in 3 days... and had this been my usual routine.. Id have already started baking, and cleaning, and setting up my home for the festivities! So Im a little sad-- but on the brighter side.... i get to enjoy Benjamins First Holidays (where he is aware of whats happening) and not have to be worried about the carpet or where to put the dog or who will think im crazy for leaving my lights up until February! This is my year to sit back and be thankful for my family, and the great people in it. Next year will be the time to reinvent the holidays (although keeping some of my most prized traditions) and starting a new.
Yes.. haha Im that GIRL! haha!!
Last Year... Seems like Yesterday!
Christmas At My Moms...
The Happy Hostess!
So heres to A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!! Good food... Great Family... and a lil bit of Football! =) Oh and CAKE!!
Happy Thanksgiving.. make sure to tell those who you are thankful for..
